Benefits of dating me funny

Topic Jokes
  1. There's no compelling reason not to start dating again
  2. Perks of Dating Me You'll Be the Hot One 👉🔥 | Dating Meme on
  3. Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Bee Movie, Memes, and Netflix: O matthitarchive perk of dating me: Memes, Boobs, and Boob: I'll let you sleep on my boobs. Butt, Cheating, and Memes: Perks of Dating Me: Dating, Friends, and Funny: Cheating, Dank, and Dating: Dating, Memes, and Depression: Dank, Dating, and Date: Dating, God, and Meme: Cheating, Dating, and Friends: Dating, Fresh, and Memes: Cheating, Dating, and Funny: Perks of dating me Perks of Dating Me: Dating, Life, and Date: Dating, Life, and Yeah: Dating, Date, and Girl Memes: Dating, Funny, and Date: Dating, Fuck You, and Fucking: Dating me is like Today 7: Be Like, Cheating, and Dating: When someone asks me why i'm still single i be like "i donno i thought i was cool as shit I never leave my house so we can always hang out, I'll never cheat cause I'm 2 busy stalking you, I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have 2, I'm always down to get drunk, pizza and dick.

This chick must have been so stretched out that she may not even have felt anything. I bet your inbox is like that porn star's vagina right now. Every dude just wants to get in - doesn't matter what order. I have a super high sex drive. Like four, five times a day if I could. Of course that novelty wears off super fast for people. Makes me super sad panda and makes me feel really undesirable when I'm rejected. Had an ex like that. It's great at first and then when I realize I'm not superman it wears off but I didn't want her to feel bad and get sad and it just made sex a really awkward obligation after a certain point.

I just felt guilty whenever I wasn't in the mood even if we already fucked 3 times that day and it took a lot of the fun out of it. Yeah like I said the novelty wears off fast. Luckily enough I'm used to long dry periods, so it's not like I need it or something to be happy. Just in a perfect world like twice daily, minimum. And that's not even like full on sex. I actually like hand jobs and blow jobs just as much. I've been told that I am a good sounding board.

There's no compelling reason not to start dating again

Also have taken classes on massages and enjoy using my particular sets of massage skills. I'm smart and ambitious, I'm finishing my degree in physics and already have a job lined up after college making a not-too-shabby income for a recent graduate.

I'm well-educated in many areas as well, including theater, music, and art. I want to make you happy in tangible ways. If you had a long, stressful, bad day, I'll make you something to eat and drink and talk about things with you, or if you don't want to talk we can play a game together or watch a movie or just chill out. I love to cuddle and be affectionate, but I can chill out on that if you don't like PDA or just are not feeling well. I'm open to trying a lot of things in bed.

I don't starfish at all. My sex drive is healthy and I'm not shy. I wouldn't consider myself uptight at all and it's pretty hard to suggest something that would offend or shock me. At worst I'll just say that I probably won't be in to it. I don't care if you look at porn; in fact we can look together if you find some good stuff. I'm direct and good at communicating.

I won't make you read my mind; I'll tell you in plain English. If we are arguing, I want to find out what we both want and find ways to compromise and meet both our needs with as little hurt feelings and anger as possible. I don't like long-brewing anger. I like learning new things and trying new things, even if I'm not sure if I will like them.

I'm just as happy to stay in as to go out. I have a lot of varied interests. I cook really well and I keep the house clean. People tell me I am the most competent person they know. Although I've got a little bit of a ways to go, I care about my health and fitness and will help keep you healthy and fit too. I'm always open to self improvement. I take care of my physical and mental health and am always looking for ways to be a better person.

It is important to me that I be good to people even when they don't always deserve it. I have an adorable and super soft cat who loves to snuggle and play.

I'm interested in getting a dog. I'm just as comfortable going out with my friends and giving you space as I am spending a lot of time together. Yet for some reason he can't explain to me, my boyfriend doesn't want to be with me anymore. If I wasn't so sad I'd be angry. You haven't heard the cons. You should probably know In all seriousness, I do have bad things about me, but I think they're normal enough to ask somebody to deal with, not something stupid insane, and I am always working on them. I guess you could say I am demanding. If I treat my partners like gold, I'd like them to at least treat me like silver.

That's too much for some people. I have a very dominant personality. I know what I want, I'm either in or out. That doesn't mesh well with some other personalities. I'm not mean or angry or overly aggressive, but I can be intimidating to some people. I don't really like big drunken parties. Maybe a year is fun, but I couldn't date someone who loved to go to the club all the time. I'm not super into drinking and I really shouldn't drink with my meds. I like one or two drinks but almost never binge. Oh and I'm on meds too. I have clinical depression, had it all my life, but ever since I started meds, I haven't had an episode!

I'm Jewish and Israeli. That rules out a lot of people. I'm also an atheist. It's not hard to make me feel better, but I'm definitely a faucet sometimes. My family is completely batshit off the walls nuts and insanely hard to please. I try to keep my distance from them, so if I date you, you may never meet them until the wedding, and sparingly after that. I like to travel. If you don't like travelling then I hope you are okay with me being gone about month every year.

I'll never choose a man over my pets. If a man gave me that kind of ultimatum, I would choose the pets. I wouldn't respect a man who made me make that kind of choice.

Perks of Dating Me You'll Be the Hot One 👉🔥 | Dating Meme on

It sounds like you're a really chill and fun person to hang out with. Good luck with the next guy you date! I can sing and play guitar. I have a truck and love the outdoors. I also write songs and a lot of poetry. I'll hold you tightly and sing you a sweet lullaby. None of that endless gossip-won't-shut-up crap that girls usually get a bad rap for. I enjoy my alone time. Go do your thing and I'll do mine. I have lived alone for many years so I'm pretty independent. Just last month, I built a 6' bookcase first time was wrong, took it back apart, read directions, then built it right!

Ummmmm I'm pretty cute too, I suppose. Wanna vacation somewhere in Europe or Latin America? Odds are I can at least get by with the locals. I'm great to bring around the parents and other relatives until they figure me out. I'm just really awesome on the surface and by the time they realize I'm just your run of the mill douchebag with no ambition it's too late lol.

A few people have dated me and seemed okay with that, but then again, I've never had a relationship last. I'm pretty damn dedicated to making the person I love happy. The kind of guy you could call at 3: I'm also pretty good at making people feel comfortable telling me things they wouldn't tell many others. Oh, and I could probably make you laugh. Full-body, back, feet, whatever. Learned a few things when I was younger.

I frequently have the thought, "I shouldn't do [dumb idea] because [dumb idea] would be a shitty, assholish thing to do. You'd be surprised how much tension and how many bad situations you can avoid when you show a little restraint and admit that your impulses are maybe not ideal. I'm awesome at being there and talking to my partner. I'm also good at leaving you alone when you wanna play video games or just be alone. I am pretty much shit at everything else in a relationship that doesn't relate to physical appetites.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

I'm good at kissing and sex, pretty much any intimacy and physical contact in general. I will love you unconditionally and be very affectionate when I see you. I'm also very thoughtful and not bad looking either. I can cook but my baking is even better. I like to hike and play tennis. I also happen to be a French major, so I can dirty talk you in French. I like to clean, it calms me, but the drawback to that is that I'm a total perfectionist neat freak. So yeah, there's that. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

Log in or sign up in seconds. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Filter posts by subject: Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Want to add to the discussion? Oh, and I'm a licensed massage therapist. They seem to be getting along peaceably. I can't tell if that's full of sarcasm or not. I think it is.

Often and very well. Make it play Battlefield 4 or I won't be your friend. I know this from personal experience. You know what that means Also I can lick my elbow.


It's his first time. I know your feels. At least half of that time is foreplay. If I have to. I can imagine your wife finding this and beating the shit out of you afterwards for saying this. I usually just pick them up and put them outside. He left on his own after a week. No one is that brave.

I can be your ringer for team trivia night. I never cheat and would never, Its probably the thing I feel strongest about I love cheesy jokes and puns You being happy makes me happy If something is bothering you or is wrong I will move fucking mountains to make you feel better; Talk to you, Listen to you, give massages, write you cute little notes, shower you in anything and everything I can find to make you smile or feel better, and buy you all the ice-cream and your favorite foods and candies I can think of.

No serious, not "no make up", but actual no make up I actually get pleasure in bed out of your pleasure, my biggest turn on is exploring your fantasies. I kinda almost never judge, and will pretty much always understand I've been told I'm an amazing hugger, kisser, and the best dam thing to sleep on ever I won't judge your gorging and eating huge burgers or masses of foods, if anything it impresses me Although pretty young, I'm an old school romantic so I will open the doors for you, hold out your chair, and bring you flowers from time to time.

I don't care what others think and will gladly dance with you like a fool in public, even if there is no music playing I could go on with the list haha Kinda just wrote this to try to remind myself who I am. Been struggling with depression this past year and a half plus, this helped: I'm a lot of fun, and I'm not too hard to look at. I am extremely well spoken, and am great at dinner parties. You're a dude, right?

Welcome to Reddit,

And hopefully a lot of lube.